


Offspring Cheat

by Chiru



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Drabble, Established Relationship, M/M, The Kids Discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 13:18:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2389673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiru/pseuds/Chiru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I fucking hate kids.” Aomine states, cold and final, as he tries to clean the icecream from his pants in the kitchen sink.</p>
<p>“Ohhh, Aominecchi is just jealous because he wanted icecream too!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Offspring Cheat

**Author's Note:**

> If there is one angst I can not stand it’s “we can’t have babies” angst. Like all couples need to be married and have kids to live a happy and fulfilled life (besides: adoption, surrogates, c’mon, there be options for the desperate) [/rant]  
> Anyway, I wrote this because why not. Anti-angst. Dorkish.

“I fucking hate kids.” Aomine states, cold and final, as he tries to clean the icecream off his pants in the kitchen sink.

“Ohhh, Aominecchi is just jealous because he wanted icecream too!”  
  
“Ugh, no, I honest to god hate brats. Fuck. This is not coming out.” He throws the wet jeans to the floor and drags himself to the couch where he falls face first into Kise’s lap.

“Are you sure it’s not because of the wasted icecream? I can quickly go out and buy you some if you-”

“Fuck off.” Aomine offers, together with a blindly aiming hand in the blond’s face. The target laughs, bites one of the fingers lightly.

“You big baby.”

The hand in his face turns to a fist with one finger standing up and proud. The blond takes it teasingly in his mouth, causing the other to jump up in surprise.

"Wha-"

“Hahahaha, you just hate kids because you’re one of them. Ahhh, I guess I don’t really need any, since you cover it all!”

Surprisingly, Aomine looks him in the eyes, wearing a stern expression.

“Would you want kids?”

“I just said I don’t-”

“I’m serious, Kise.”

Seeing the frown on the other’s brow, Kise smiles softly. “It’s not possible, Aominecchi.” he says, as he leans back.

“Well, we could-”

“It’s just not possible.” Kise interrupts. “Can you imagine, the combination of our genes, in one single miniature person? My gorgeous good looks, your insane skill— my insane skill?! The creature would be completely overpowered. A glitch in the system. Total mary sue. God couldn’t possibly allow it. That’s why we’re both guys. it’s not meant to be.”

“Ha, guess so…” Aomine smiles, mood brightened.

“Although, it is a pity.”

The smile falls. “Do you-”

“I know for sure Aominecchi would be incredibly hot with a pair of boobs. Medium size, but perky, with dark nipples and-”

“What?! You’re the pretty one, you should be the girl! And big tits, bigger is better!”

Tears pop into the blonds eyes, and his boyfriend grinds his teeth at the act. “But Aominecchi, just yesterday you said size didn’t matter!”

“Why you little-” he jumps his partner and nails him to the couch.


End file.
